Harmonica Dan and the Pancake Man
Harmonica Dan and the Pancake Man sledge up to the North Pole
There they stayed for a thousand days soaking up all the arctic coal
The wilderness was brutal, but they had their “tentcoats” on
Once they finished digging, those two dudes were gone
The coal grew back, but who’s keeping track of the wilderness is fine
“Hold out your hands and close your eyes.” Said J.B. Loxley.
A jar of honey and rubber bands, just enough for three.
Harmonica Dan and the Pancake Man knew exactly what to do
They picked up sticks and fashioned whip like weapons for the food
Flinging viscous liquid, isn’t easy like sounds
Had they practiced back when, before they hit the town?
They sure had fun, (cut short) a gun / shot rang into the air
“Hold out your hands and close your eyes.” Said the musket with his man.
It’s you who steals the honey, the noose and tar at hand.
Harmonica Dan and the Pancake Man gave up to face the break
J.B. ran, escaped and found a house to hide his aching feet
Poor Dan and Pancake Man strung up from the highest tree
While J.B.L’s been yawning, without his company
The honey washed off of the neighbor’s stuff, but still two men passed on
The Cicada Utopian Proposal
They’re climbing up the trees
They’re swimming through the breeze
I know you don’t like them, but they won’t bite
I know they keep you up at night
Hello, hello
The summer of Cicada, non stop action, non stop laughs
Summer of Cicada
Seventeen years
It’ll be alright
Cicada it’ll be alright
Cicada it’ll be alright
You know that they’re parading in the street
Melting at your feet
I know you want to help them
You do your best
I know your love is the criterion collection for diplomacy
Cicada it’ll be alright
Cicada it’ll be alright
You’re safe here cicada
Look what can be done for you
Shake your tail to tell the others
Watch my lips it must be true
Longer lives, longer lives
Now endure
Tell generations how
Philanthropy bought
A cicada utopia
Cicada it’ll be alright
Cicada it’ll be alright
My Favorite Word
On my day off
I took a long shower
And I ate a real breakfast
And I drank my own coffee
And that caffeine spark nearly told me
What I really already knew
That you’d be here soon
And you’d tell me my favorite word
My favorite word is yes
My favorite word is yes
I get to hear you say my favorite word
On my day off
I took a long bike ride
The breeze was lazy and so am I
And it took me to a brook
Just me and Douglas Adams
As we listened to the leaves
Between our fits of laughter he said my favorite word yes
My favorite word is yes
My favorite word is yes
I get to hear you say my favorite word
On my day off
I watched a long cubs game
The score was hazy and underachieving
So we went out for a lactose stout
Three cheers for Brewer Marshall
And your beverage that completes mankind
We’re here together now and singing our favorite word
Yes Yes Yes
Yes Yes Yes
Helga The Hungarian
Helga the Hungarian
Drinks the Bavarian and makes goat cheese
She is so good to me
I enjoy her company
She goes to beauty school and that's why I look this way
Her snatch tastes like gold
Yes I'm a prospector going south...west.
Helga the Hungarian
Picks cloudberries and makes us jam
She lets me make the tea
I complete her fantasy
She goes to church with me and cackles as I flip a quip her way
Her skin smells like wood
Yes I'm a carpenter sanding down smooth.
Someone was saying on the radio
How it was one the most beautiful
Launches of love they'd ever seen
Someone take a photo quick
Of me and my
Helga the Hungarian
She is so good to me
On Snowy Days Like These
On snowy days like these
I look through my old photos
I love that one of you
Warm and by the fire
Naked on the bear skin rug
I think of you on snowy days like these
On snowy days like these
On snowy days like these I love you
I urn to be a snowflake on your breast
Dripping down your cleavage for a rest
On snowy days like these I love you
I’d put a shovel on my truck, and plow the streets up to your house
With driveway clear I’ll walk inside
Drink Campbell’s soup
Pick you up, and have a fuck
On snowy days like these
On snowy days like these I trust you.
Sincerely laughing at our strengths, as we take a sip before we toast
On every single alcoholic drink.
On snowy days like these I trust you
Not to tell our secret code
So when I say, “Brass keys can lock a fortune up.
Sure you’re safe if you look close up, but you can’t dream of stopping laveric nature.”
They won’t understand your classic
“Cross eyed faces winking thank you’s.”
On snowy days like these I
Am impressed
With your best impression of
A bugle
In the morning
To get me up
On snowy days like these I
Can expect
To play
A harpsichord and
Hear your bass harmonica
And we play this song you hear now
The Zookeeper Knows The Jailer Is Asleep
Every story has a start a middle and an ending
Cleaning time is over
And all the workers have left the animal stables
He didn’t take a car there
He took the bus and hid inside
The “ice cream of the future” stand
‘Cus no one ever goes there
The lights we off in the park
And then he went out into the park
He saw the zoo like no one’s ever seen before
The jailer was so happy
‘Cus what he saw were inmates
Who seem to say, “I like you.”
As he walked by them
He did this every evening
Only changing which animals he’d hung with
And helped him find the meaning
The life he had was stumbling
All the people he knew were evil-doing
The jailer had no where else left to go
The zookeeper had a blind eye to what he did
Observing what he did
He’d seen this thing
Twice before
“How happy I feel
Around you I feel well
You know the answer”
The lions den
The lions den was lovely
The penguins can be really go listeners
The monkey pen was less than welcoming to the stranger.
The monkeys really mauled him
They ate his body, but left his head
Lying in the thicket and the thick grass
The zookeeper saw the head, but he thought it had a body
“I guess I’ll let him sleep a little more.”
A Poem To Recite After Being Caught Staring At A Woman’s Perky Tits
Put on this rain dress
It’ll keep you dry from all the love I’ll be precipitating now
Very little one
Your world is better than freedom and loving one person at a time
Let your unexplained joy
Resuscitate all thoughts and visions exulted
Untouchable, that’s how I want you to be and stay
Demetria Vida is Spanish for the spice made from the sun and your smile
Vasco da Gama searched the world and couldn’t find you
“De onde esta Demetria Vida?”
And I wouldn’t tell him it was you
That Portuguese twit
Nit wit
Don't ignore the things you see, in front of you
A man with invisible hair and wings
A claw for a hand that can’t cup the change I get from Billy’s Gyro
I pray that I can be gentle
I pray that I could be sincere but, it’s god that forms vagina clouds around skyscrapers.
“I dare you not to look.”he says.
The buildings seem to move
Dare dare dare dare
Demetria Vida your raven hair supports snow globe snow
Press down the lever, and every portrait in the world turns, face to the wall
Demetria Vida
And time stands still if we don't move and if we don't let go
Must all my wishes be secrets
Only if you want them to be
Must all my wishes be secrets
Only if you want them to be
Grace, mercy and peace
Love one another
Are words that we’ll say for
Ever and ever
Eternal life
Now that’s a cup of a carpenter
The Syncopated Cat
Since I met the syncopated cat
All my good luck came true
‘Cause it wouldn’t before
Since I met the syncopated cat
All our love shined through
‘Cause it couldn’t before
Pilots hot air balloons
Through marshmallow clouds
Soaring so high above
The triple rainbow
Since I met the syncopated cat
All my good luck came true
‘Cause it wouldn’t before
Since I met the syncopated cat
All our love shined through
‘Cause it couldn’t before
Drinks highballs with her friends
At four before work ends
She adores the sound
Of the minor fourth
One Two Three Four
Do you still feel so lonely
I know, I couldn’t believe it either
Me right
Me right
Doesn’t life seem so lovely
Meteors are raining bright tonight
And what a sight
What a sight
Dynamite Fight
I know you love your cell phone, you’re on it all the time
You’re always texting game shows, you’re trying to change your life
But in the end you bet the farm and had to pay them off
Like two generals invite to a dynamite fight
You have to hurry through your lunch, they keep you off the clock
At Hamburger Heaven there’s always lines that never seem to stop
Then you’re up they stare at you they’re out of what you want
Like two diplomats conspire through their dynamite fire
They’re selling t-shirts to commemorate the day
Selling rulebooks you only read a page
What’s a dynamite fight?
First we stand / back to back / then we take / 5 paces / then turn around
As I left the stadium I gained thoughts of the future
Three hundred million internet stalkers
Three hundred million internet thieves
Watch for free on their PC’s
Everyone’s a pirate, no one should complain
You sure have / a lot of nerve / to want to / go through with it
We stand, watch and corrode, while two people explode
We stand while two people explode
The Pearl
Every cold January
I must read aloud the saddest story
The Pearl
The Pearl
By Steinbeck J.
And my fourth graders
Don’t realize the weight
And my feet and eyes and brain
Vibrate and awful wave
The Pearl
The Pearl
By Steinbeck J.
I keep a calendar
To mark off the days
Till The Pearl gets washed away
The Pearl
The Pearl
By Steinbeck J.
Oh Lord
why does Coyotito have to die
Every single time
I recite this book
Like a blue town cryer
I’d tell the Principal I’m a wreck
But she keeps some pearls around her neck
And she tells all the faculty ‘bout the time
She met the author in his prime
The Pearl
The Pearl
By Salinger J.
No!
The Pearl
The Pearl
By Steinbeck J.
Piggie Bankin' It
Little bit of everything
Just incase it needs it
I’ll be piggie banking it and barely getting by
I’ll be piggie banking it smash when in short supply
I’ll concentrate on a pre bank prayer and hope they send out doves
So I can buy some frozen cordon bleu a smorgasbord sort of
If only you would make another “Armed Forces”
Then you’d sell like when you were in your prime
Instead you make an album of country standards
And who in their right minds would buy that
Perhaps they’ll let me write for Agnetha Ase Faltskog
The real life dancing queen
“Elva Kvinnor i ett hus”
And not a single one to wash my sheets
I’ll be piggie banking it and barely getting by
I’ll be piggie banking it smash when in short supply
So spend it on everything
Lavatory Party
A bathroom is an important thing to have
It keeps you clean and you help keep it clean too
Everybody knows / Everybody goes
Spray disinfectant and wipe off real well
Brush up the toilet and rub down the shower walls
All the best ideas / made inside of here / Hum hey hum / Hum hey hum
All your bright ideas / seem to get so clear
In the can so concentrate who knows who you will pioneer next
A bathroom is an important thing to have
It keeps you clean and you help keep it clean too
Clean, clean away my boy
Clean, clean away my boy
Everybody knows
Everybody goes
If it is correct as I believe it is
People just want to say “I love you.” and you should let them
Desperate, nostalgic, and dry
Willing to admit what they really knew all along
People just want to say “I love you.” and you should let them
Picture a lavatory party
A giant room filled with steam and steam showers
Ceramic basins dispense clean cool water
As we cleanse and wash and rinse the modern world away from our body
Lavericly Lavaciously